Back to reality, oh there goes gravity
Oh my... 10th week of project. How on earth did we get here?! I'm sitting at home in El Paso, Texas as I write about week 10 in San Diego. It's heartbreaking to have to relive those goodbyes, but how lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard :) I have to remind myself of that a lot.
On Sunday the 27th of July, we had our very last ministry team meeting and all project meeting. They were mostly sad because we all knew and we were aware... But we finished strong. For our last project dinner, we had a pot luck and got to discuss in our DNA groups things that we learned this summer and fears we have coming back home - and we got to pray over these things together. We were all sad but we wanted it to be fun and so we made it that way!
On Tuesday, we had our last campus day and since we had gone to UCSD the previous week, we got to go to SDSU. I remember the first time I went to that campus I called my mom and told her I wasn't going home and that I was transferring schools (LOL sorry mom). It's such a beautiful school, so big and so pretty. I remember just being so exhausted by this point. My heart going into our last campus day wasn't the best. I didn't want to have any conversations, I didn't want to share, I was tired, it had and was going to be a very long and emotional week... But The Lord corrected my heart. As hard as it is to admit those things, they are true. But I'm so thankful that He keeps me in the palm of His hand and reminds me of who He is and who I was made to be. Sometimes we need to be called out on these simple things. The day ended well. We had a free night, so my boyfriend and I went on a date and walked around Seaport Village - extremely beautiful area of San Diego. We were so glad we got to see it before we left :)
Staff was also returning this day so that was a sure reality that project was over. We also had to be all packed up by Tuesday because we would spend the whole day cleaning the next day. So it was very strange seeing our condo slowly get packed up. Our beautiful messy summer condo was becoming bare and white just as it started out. And even in the midst of these things, I was in denial about actually leaving. It hadn't hit me yet, I didn't want it to.
On Wednesday the 30th was our Debrief day. So we met up early in the morning with the staff that had returned back to Mission Beach and closed the summer off for us. They taught us how to make the transition from project to home, taught us about how to deal with "post project blues/depression" which really does happen. I know this from experience with my Disney College Program last year and Walt Disney World Summer Project. I knew too well what would come in the upcoming months, but I was so sure I would be strong enough to not feel so deeply like I had before because I knew what was coming. But I was very wrong. (Lol typical) :P We also had to write ourselves letters about things we had learned over the summer and things to remember and they will be mailed out to us in October, so it will be very exciting to receive that! To see what things I had written to myself, to remind myself, and to look back on. We cleaned out all our garages which held all of our ministry team shenanigans and started cleaning out our refrigerators! So because we didn't want to throw away all our food, we cooked it. Me and some friends combined all our random meals and ate together - from pizza and mac & cheese, to chicken and veggies. We all sat in our half packed, half a tornado of a living room (with no air conditioning I might add) and happily ate our food and enjoyed our bitter sweet last lunch together.
That evening was our Farewell Banquet - yikes... We all got to dress up and look pretty one last time to celebrate what an amazing summer we had together. Storytellers (mostly Brandon - good job B!!!) put together the memory video, which is basically a 30 minute video with awesome pictures and sad songs for us to look back on. It was hilarious, sad and beautiful all at the same time. We had Chipotle catered to us for dinner and ended the evening as any other project would - with a dance party! (Haha)
That evening, most of us spent our last night not sleeping and spending time with each other. All the people that were living in Princess Palace, Man Cave and Man-Land had to be out of their motel that day so they had to stay with us girls that lived in condos 1, 2 and 4. Don't worry, in different rooms :D unless everyone decided to all squeeze in the living rooms, which most did.
Thursday August 1st came faster than we knew it. It was time to go home, time to go back to reality and flip the page to the next chapter of our lives. We had to be off the property of Santa Clara by 8 am so most of us (if we didn't stay up all night) were up by 4 or 5 am to say our goodbyes. Lots of us started the drive home early and had to catch the shuttle for flights, etc. The tears and goodbyes lasted for hours, it was so heartbreaking. People were slowly leaving Santa Clara, group by group. And at this point, I was STILL in denial. I was sad, but I couldn't cry. Why wasn't it hitting me yet? I mean, I'm the biggest cry baby ever!... What did make me tear up was seeing other people cry, their hearts breaking made mine break. I almost wondered if I was so immune to goodbye that it wouldn't effect me anymore. Well the hours went by and it was my turn to go, all the NMSU students were leaving together and our farewells were next .So naturally we went to Better Buzz and each ordered one last iced "Best Drink Ever" that's literally what it's called and it lives highly to its' name. We sat for a while, mingled and pretended we didn't know what was soon coming once we walked back to Santa Clara. But the time came. We all hugged everyone by the rails, tears were flowing from lots of people (still not mine) and we got in the car, rolled the windows down, waved goodbye and drove away. And that was it. San Diego Summer Project was officially over.
Me and a few of the girls in my car (Jessica and Jenna) discussed our feelings and what we wanted this semester to look like, we even talked about all the project stuff we would miss. One of them even commented on me not crying, lol, I did myself. But after the long/short drive we finally made it home! I however still had to drive from Las Cruces, NM to El Paso, TX so I wasn't quite there yet. Tired and groggy as I was, I was very excited to be having my boyfriend and friend (Shannon) stay at my house for the night as they needed someplace to sleep since Arkansas is a 2 day drive. SO, we finally made it to EP!!! Mom had some delicious dinner waiting for us, so we got to eat, catch up and get some sleep. The next morning, my mom and I got up early to make breakfast and packed lunches for our 2 travelers. We all spent some quality time together for a while then it was time for them to go. Philip (my boyfriend - it's still weird saying that) and I had some alone time to give each other our farewell gifts and then it happened. I CRIED. I guess it had to be the very last people that I had to say bye to for it to sink in. I'm not sure why... But this goodbye was one of the hardest I've had to experience yet. Sorry, I'm going to be that lame, cheesy girl that writes about her boyfriend. We walked them to their car and we said bye again, lots of tears where shed. They got in their car and my mom and I walked to the end of the parking lot to see them off. They waited a few minutes before pulling out but as they passed us, the car stopped and Philip ran out of the car and gave me another hug. Gosh... That boy! I was already a mess. But I was so happy he did. Then I watched them drive away. Reliving these memories right now already brings tears to my eyes. On top of that, it rained in El Paso that day. Great. So I came inside, threw myself on the couch and cried and cried. And cried.
The days pass and I think it only gets harder. At least just right now. But everyday that goes by just makes me miss everyone more. I have even gotten some phone calls from friends already, in tears about how much they want to go back. And the sad reality is that we can't, we won't ever have those memories again, they can't be replaced. But, there are always new memories made. We made friends from all over the United States and thank you Jesus for technology so that we can keep in touch. But these weren't goodbyes, because goodbyes mean going away and going away means forgetting. They are just "see you soons." What a beautiful thing to have our hearts hurt because we love each other so much...
The Lord taught me so many things this summer. And I've made memories that I will never forget and always cherish. I have friendships that will last a lifetime and now have a boyfriend who pursues me after Christ's own heart. I was blessed many ways this summer. The hard days, the days I cried because it was hard, the days I prayed the same prayer to get an answer, the days I slept on a hard bed with no air conditioning, the days I laid on the beach, the days I had the first hellos and the last goodbyes, the days I laughed till I cried, the days I got no sleep, the days The Lord was accepted into people's hearts, the days The Lord and I grew closer together... These are the days I live for. And in every experience He teaches me something and I learn more about my Creator. I can't thank you enough to every person who prayed for me, supported me through encouragement, financial support and many more. You all were a part of every experience I had this summer. I give all the glory to God but you all get some credit too, you all helped me get here. You all changed lives. You changed mine.
My prayer is that I will not forget these things or the things I learned and grew this summer. That I come back as a new Priscilla who died of her old habits and gained new ones that glorify The Lord. I know this semester I will especially focus on how I can take all the things I learned this summer and apply them to my life and apply them to living life once we are back in the flow of school and work. I will continue to pursue God and my relationship with Him daily. I will strive to keep Christ the center of my new relationship. I will pursue women and help in any way that I can to be a leader for them and help them grow as they walk with The Lord themselves, and continue to take on my leadership role wit Cru at NMSU. Thank you for keeping up with my blog this summer and reading all The Lord has done. Now I close this chapter of my life and open a new one, and I'm so very excited to see what God has planned! :)
May The Lord bless you and make His face to shine upon you. Farewell friends! Xoxo
In Christ,
Priscilla Nelly Perez
On Sunday the 27th of July, we had our very last ministry team meeting and all project meeting. They were mostly sad because we all knew and we were aware... But we finished strong. For our last project dinner, we had a pot luck and got to discuss in our DNA groups things that we learned this summer and fears we have coming back home - and we got to pray over these things together. We were all sad but we wanted it to be fun and so we made it that way!
On Tuesday, we had our last campus day and since we had gone to UCSD the previous week, we got to go to SDSU. I remember the first time I went to that campus I called my mom and told her I wasn't going home and that I was transferring schools (LOL sorry mom). It's such a beautiful school, so big and so pretty. I remember just being so exhausted by this point. My heart going into our last campus day wasn't the best. I didn't want to have any conversations, I didn't want to share, I was tired, it had and was going to be a very long and emotional week... But The Lord corrected my heart. As hard as it is to admit those things, they are true. But I'm so thankful that He keeps me in the palm of His hand and reminds me of who He is and who I was made to be. Sometimes we need to be called out on these simple things. The day ended well. We had a free night, so my boyfriend and I went on a date and walked around Seaport Village - extremely beautiful area of San Diego. We were so glad we got to see it before we left :)
Staff was also returning this day so that was a sure reality that project was over. We also had to be all packed up by Tuesday because we would spend the whole day cleaning the next day. So it was very strange seeing our condo slowly get packed up. Our beautiful messy summer condo was becoming bare and white just as it started out. And even in the midst of these things, I was in denial about actually leaving. It hadn't hit me yet, I didn't want it to.
On Wednesday the 30th was our Debrief day. So we met up early in the morning with the staff that had returned back to Mission Beach and closed the summer off for us. They taught us how to make the transition from project to home, taught us about how to deal with "post project blues/depression" which really does happen. I know this from experience with my Disney College Program last year and Walt Disney World Summer Project. I knew too well what would come in the upcoming months, but I was so sure I would be strong enough to not feel so deeply like I had before because I knew what was coming. But I was very wrong. (Lol typical) :P We also had to write ourselves letters about things we had learned over the summer and things to remember and they will be mailed out to us in October, so it will be very exciting to receive that! To see what things I had written to myself, to remind myself, and to look back on. We cleaned out all our garages which held all of our ministry team shenanigans and started cleaning out our refrigerators! So because we didn't want to throw away all our food, we cooked it. Me and some friends combined all our random meals and ate together - from pizza and mac & cheese, to chicken and veggies. We all sat in our half packed, half a tornado of a living room (with no air conditioning I might add) and happily ate our food and enjoyed our bitter sweet last lunch together.
That evening was our Farewell Banquet - yikes... We all got to dress up and look pretty one last time to celebrate what an amazing summer we had together. Storytellers (mostly Brandon - good job B!!!) put together the memory video, which is basically a 30 minute video with awesome pictures and sad songs for us to look back on. It was hilarious, sad and beautiful all at the same time. We had Chipotle catered to us for dinner and ended the evening as any other project would - with a dance party! (Haha)
That evening, most of us spent our last night not sleeping and spending time with each other. All the people that were living in Princess Palace, Man Cave and Man-Land had to be out of their motel that day so they had to stay with us girls that lived in condos 1, 2 and 4. Don't worry, in different rooms :D unless everyone decided to all squeeze in the living rooms, which most did.
Thursday August 1st came faster than we knew it. It was time to go home, time to go back to reality and flip the page to the next chapter of our lives. We had to be off the property of Santa Clara by 8 am so most of us (if we didn't stay up all night) were up by 4 or 5 am to say our goodbyes. Lots of us started the drive home early and had to catch the shuttle for flights, etc. The tears and goodbyes lasted for hours, it was so heartbreaking. People were slowly leaving Santa Clara, group by group. And at this point, I was STILL in denial. I was sad, but I couldn't cry. Why wasn't it hitting me yet? I mean, I'm the biggest cry baby ever!... What did make me tear up was seeing other people cry, their hearts breaking made mine break. I almost wondered if I was so immune to goodbye that it wouldn't effect me anymore. Well the hours went by and it was my turn to go, all the NMSU students were leaving together and our farewells were next .So naturally we went to Better Buzz and each ordered one last iced "Best Drink Ever" that's literally what it's called and it lives highly to its' name. We sat for a while, mingled and pretended we didn't know what was soon coming once we walked back to Santa Clara. But the time came. We all hugged everyone by the rails, tears were flowing from lots of people (still not mine) and we got in the car, rolled the windows down, waved goodbye and drove away. And that was it. San Diego Summer Project was officially over.
Me and a few of the girls in my car (Jessica and Jenna) discussed our feelings and what we wanted this semester to look like, we even talked about all the project stuff we would miss. One of them even commented on me not crying, lol, I did myself. But after the long/short drive we finally made it home! I however still had to drive from Las Cruces, NM to El Paso, TX so I wasn't quite there yet. Tired and groggy as I was, I was very excited to be having my boyfriend and friend (Shannon) stay at my house for the night as they needed someplace to sleep since Arkansas is a 2 day drive. SO, we finally made it to EP!!! Mom had some delicious dinner waiting for us, so we got to eat, catch up and get some sleep. The next morning, my mom and I got up early to make breakfast and packed lunches for our 2 travelers. We all spent some quality time together for a while then it was time for them to go. Philip (my boyfriend - it's still weird saying that) and I had some alone time to give each other our farewell gifts and then it happened. I CRIED. I guess it had to be the very last people that I had to say bye to for it to sink in. I'm not sure why... But this goodbye was one of the hardest I've had to experience yet. Sorry, I'm going to be that lame, cheesy girl that writes about her boyfriend. We walked them to their car and we said bye again, lots of tears where shed. They got in their car and my mom and I walked to the end of the parking lot to see them off. They waited a few minutes before pulling out but as they passed us, the car stopped and Philip ran out of the car and gave me another hug. Gosh... That boy! I was already a mess. But I was so happy he did. Then I watched them drive away. Reliving these memories right now already brings tears to my eyes. On top of that, it rained in El Paso that day. Great. So I came inside, threw myself on the couch and cried and cried. And cried.
The days pass and I think it only gets harder. At least just right now. But everyday that goes by just makes me miss everyone more. I have even gotten some phone calls from friends already, in tears about how much they want to go back. And the sad reality is that we can't, we won't ever have those memories again, they can't be replaced. But, there are always new memories made. We made friends from all over the United States and thank you Jesus for technology so that we can keep in touch. But these weren't goodbyes, because goodbyes mean going away and going away means forgetting. They are just "see you soons." What a beautiful thing to have our hearts hurt because we love each other so much...
The Lord taught me so many things this summer. And I've made memories that I will never forget and always cherish. I have friendships that will last a lifetime and now have a boyfriend who pursues me after Christ's own heart. I was blessed many ways this summer. The hard days, the days I cried because it was hard, the days I prayed the same prayer to get an answer, the days I slept on a hard bed with no air conditioning, the days I laid on the beach, the days I had the first hellos and the last goodbyes, the days I laughed till I cried, the days I got no sleep, the days The Lord was accepted into people's hearts, the days The Lord and I grew closer together... These are the days I live for. And in every experience He teaches me something and I learn more about my Creator. I can't thank you enough to every person who prayed for me, supported me through encouragement, financial support and many more. You all were a part of every experience I had this summer. I give all the glory to God but you all get some credit too, you all helped me get here. You all changed lives. You changed mine.
My prayer is that I will not forget these things or the things I learned and grew this summer. That I come back as a new Priscilla who died of her old habits and gained new ones that glorify The Lord. I know this semester I will especially focus on how I can take all the things I learned this summer and apply them to my life and apply them to living life once we are back in the flow of school and work. I will continue to pursue God and my relationship with Him daily. I will strive to keep Christ the center of my new relationship. I will pursue women and help in any way that I can to be a leader for them and help them grow as they walk with The Lord themselves, and continue to take on my leadership role wit Cru at NMSU. Thank you for keeping up with my blog this summer and reading all The Lord has done. Now I close this chapter of my life and open a new one, and I'm so very excited to see what God has planned! :)
May The Lord bless you and make His face to shine upon you. Farewell friends! Xoxo
In Christ,
Priscilla Nelly Perez